that's the kind of thing i do that i haven't done in a while

THE STORY OF CHRISTMAS

No, not that one, the story of this past Christmas.  The family was blue...Christmases have been weird since my dad passed and weirder still since my oldest sister divorced.  This year, her kids were spending the holiday with their dad.  So, to liven things up, we invited my ex-boyfriend/still good buddy Kit.  And true to form, he livened things up plenty and we all laughed and had a good time after all.  He has a million jokes and one-liners, bartender that he is, and my favorite and most disgustifying was "If Joan Rivers gets one more facelift, she'll have a goatee" how can you be blue with stuff like that I ask ya?

http://www.wiihaveaproblem.com/

Wait in line overnight only to go home and break your TV hehehehheheh

and i work in a dumb store

man, what next?

here is a list of crap i HATE

1. Tickle Me Elmo ( I think the new one is called TMX or Elmo X, apparently Elmo is now an observant Muslim? dunno)  There has been a man that comes in to the store so often asking for it that they are considering a restraining order to keep him out (no joke, the man is a loon).  You know that "they" know that the stupid ass thing is going to sell like hotcakes yet they only release a few at a time to keep the demand up so that lame people will have to sell their firstborn to get it on Ebay.  And really, what kid will be interested in the dumb thing more than 5 minutes.  A kid wants a plushie that they can cuddle with at night without it bursting into fits of hysteria.

2.  Barbie + Tickle Me Elmo...yes that bitch comes with a mini Elmo X of her own...what is a 35 year old woman doing with it? She is prolly gonna sell it's ass on Ebay.  Barbie is no dummy (except when it comes to Math).  Barbie nearly makes up for this putridity by also coming in a set with a dog and a pooper scooper and the dog EATS and CRAPS I kid you not...A crapping dog would make up for the Elmo if it were not for the MyScene Barbie....which is such a blatant rip-off of Bratz that I must laugh at its pathetic giant head. There is a kinda funny one that comes with some kind of metal under it's head so that when you press buttons on its back it makes different "expressions" none of which resemble human expressions mind you, just stretchy freaky doll head "expressions" that are extra funny if you press the buttons all at once

3.  Wii and Playstation 3....people camped out 2 days for the latter and that bastard is 600 dollars.  And, like our beloved Elmo, they only dole out a few at a time to the stores to keep the demand up and the stupid public buys into it....

4.  I hate people that come in to get price adjustments for stuff that went on sale...not in general, I can totally understand doing that if the item is 10 dollars off of the price you paid, or if you bought mass quantities of an item....but I will never understand peeps who come in to get a measly 50 cents back...you paid more than that for the gas to drive to the store, moron!

5.  I hate the lack of training they give at the particular store I work at now...any cashier can issue a rain check or correct their silly booboo like missing a coupon....but noooo they don't wanna train anybody so the customer just gets sent over to guest service to stand in line arms crossed glaring at me, yes me, while some idiot ahead of them tries to get a 50 cent price adjustment on a fucking ornament.

6.  I hate our prohibitive return policy, if you have your receipt or you are the purchaser and you have a trackable method of payment (credit card etc) you're golden....if you receive more than 2 gifts without a reciept and you try to exchange them within one year of each other, you are going to have to use your ID and be treated like a criminal.  And you are going to yell at me, not that I made up the retarded policy or anything, and honestly I would be willing to steal the shit for you myself except that I really need my meager paycheck right now.

7.  I hate the coupon scam....people will buy like seven things of diapers, 5 packages of maxi pads, 3 boxes of Nicorette gum....use coupons, and then they next day they will return all the items, essentially earning all the money from the coupons.  When someone gives me a receipt where it is obvious what coupon was used for what, I just deduct the amount of the coupon...even though I am not supposed to, then the customer says something like "oh i'm returning this for my wife, have to ask my wife" then leave with the stuff again.....but, now,  they have foiled my little plan.  They come in with their method of purchase and no receipt and I am helpless to ruin their scam.  But when a man is returning 10 packages of maxi pads I know what he has up his sleeve.  And I scowl at him the entire time. 

pull up your stupid pants, asshole!

hey, at least it doesn't look like the house is about to sell anytime soon, so i still have a while longer with this sweet sweet fast internet!!!